This page is about a Mom who likes to think she is closer to the Hot side than the alternative. Here is my story of the daily journey of a less than rich, less than skinny and more than happy lady :D

Wednesday, August 31, 2016

I Miss My Time With You...

I Miss My Time With You....

"i miss my time with you

those moments together
i need to be with you each day
and it hurt's me when you say
you're too busy
busy trying to serve me
but how can you serve me
when your spirit's empty
there's a longing in my heart
wanting more than just a part of you
it's true
i miss my time with you"



This song has been running through my head the last few weeks. Anyone raised around church or around gospel music could probably sing it word for word. If you haven't had the privilege, follow the link above. Larnelle Harris was a smart man. And the guy can sing. Not to mention his swanky style back in the 80's and 90's. But I digress...

This part of the song is from God's perspective. How we get so busy doing things for Him that we fail to actually have a relationship with Him. Wow. Just let that sink in... We are so consumed with doing the things for the kingdom that we don't even have time for the King. Ouch.

Someone has to clean the church, to coordinate the events, teach the kiddos and greet the visitors. But should that come at a price? Does that take precedent over our relationship? I can promise you that if you are not seeking time with Him, you won't be able to sustain the heart to serve. When you try to serve out of selfish gain or obligation it shows, and you burn out so very quickly. I'm speaking from personal experience y'all... "You're too busy..."

On to the second application, the one that has hit home just as hard. I feel like these words are coming from my boys. My five year old has asked me three time since school started if we could spend some time together, just "me and you Mom". Cue the waterworks. Ouch again.

Am I so busy serving them- lunches, laundry, fun activities, cleaning, just life- that the 5 year old has to ask me to make time for him? What could be more important than to make them feel like they matter, that my time for them is more important than anything else, that they are important to me? What example am I setting for my kids? Where's the balance? "Busy trying to serve me..."

Being responsible and doing my job as a mom is important. Those lunches do have to be packed, the homework needs to be done and someone has to do the laundry. Showing my boys that there are things that have to be done and including them in the doing it also important to me. Teaching them that Momma doesn't do everything, and that the hamper isn't a magic box that turns out clean clothes and that the dishes don't wash themselves, in my opinion, is a way I can raise them into good men and one day good husbands. Letting them contribute and take ownership of tasks gives them responsibility and they have a glowing pride when their job is a job well done. I feel like I've found my stride there.

But I am failing and the relational part of this. One way I know I need to do more for my big guy is that I have no patience with him and the way he's being a kid. He's weathering the storm of Kindergarten and I'm not giving him grace in this change. We used to spend most every day together and in most of those moments when I'd nearly lose my cool (hey, don't judge me; if you are a mom and you haven't screamed in a pillow, we need to have a talk), I was able to take a breath and extend the grace he needs. Lately, not so much. He's gone every day, almost all day. When we are together its all business on my end- homework, pick up toys, eat dinner, bed and repeat. There's no value in that time for him. If I made more time for him, time where he and I could just be, I know that I could give him the grace he needs. He needs more than just a part of me...

I need to commit the time. Time for my walk with Christ, for my marriage and for my children- uninterrupted time, undistracted time, undiluted time. I am so consumed sometimes by what isn't done that I can't always see what can be done. I recently had an eye opening moment while I was drying up the puddle of tears my 5 year old provoked: we are blessed with 168 hours in each week- its time to make the waking ones matter...



1 comment:

  1. I loved it. Beautifully written and so true. Seems like every day we get busier and busier and it's tougher to find quality time with God, the kids and each other. Nice perspective here.

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