This page is about a Mom who likes to think she is closer to the Hot side than the alternative. Here is my story of the daily journey of a less than rich, less than skinny and more than happy lady :D

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Blurred Lines

I know, I know... Maybe its too soon?

I can guarantee this post has nothing to do with the recent display of insecurity & the loudest cry for help this boob tube generation has witnessed. But, it was just too easy...

I have been battling lately with my Mommy-ness. What kind of Mom am I trying to be? Where do I fit in the stereotypes of mothers? Would I be pleased with the answer to that question?

One of the main lessons I am learning as a mother is to draw my lines with pencil or make them dotted lines.

I constantly find myself in a battle with- you guessed it- myself.

I want to be the best Mom I can be for my sons. I want to give them all the things they need, teach them to work for the things they want & show them how to appreciate all the blessings they have. I want to raise confident but humble sons- boys with a sweet spirit & the quiet strength that makes for a handsome fella both inside & out. 

Where in the WORLD do I start?!?!

Here is an example of the inner battle I found just yesterday at the park:
- Man, there are a lot of big kids here today. Maybe I should keep close to him on the playground.
- Don't be a helicopter, lady. He needs to learn the rules for childhood survival. Give him a chance.
- What if he gets hurt? These other parents are really not watching their children at all.
- See, that Dad is watching his children. Wait, they are at least 6 yrs old. Is he hovering?
- Him getting hurt could help him learn a lesson about playing with other children.
- If any of those rug-rats hurt my kid, man, they are going to hear it from me.
- How awkward would it be if one of those kids knocks him down & I have to confront the parents?
- I will tell those moms what I think of them, sitting on their phones, not paying any attention to their babies!
- But if I keep on his heels will everyone think he is a baby?
- Am I holding him back? protecting him? 
- Blah, blah, blah- worry, concern- blah!

Needless to say, in my opinion, these lines are the lines that are truly blurred:

When is it okay to let them play alone vs. not giving them enough attention?

How many times do I say no before I have to use a more harsh form of discipline? Will time out work? Do we spank him? Is something else wrong yet I am punishing him when really he is just hungry/over-tired/sleepy/needs his mom?

What if we do sensory play & he doesn't want to play the right way? Is it because I'm not doing it right?

Will my boys be friends? Will they fight all the time? How do I prepare for that?!

Why do I have to teach him to share? He had the toy first, right?

Are my children going to suffer because we had McDonald's too often?

Is it a travesty that my sheets haven't been changed in two weeks? and that I just realized it now?

Where is the line between challenging other mothers & judging them? Am I doing my duty as a friend to encourage other mothers? Should I even bring these things up?

AM I THE ONLY ONE?! My oldest is not even 3 yet I am struggling. I can't even imagine how it will be when he has a personality of his own, his own will. 

I feel like I am on the right track. Each day I try to focus on what is in front of me & not get too caught up in all these what ifs. I have my Faith to guide me & give me peace and confidence that if I give these concerns to the Lord He will give me strength, patience & comfort. 

I wanted to put this out there so that other moms know- you're not alone. I am here, with my questions, just standing there, watching my son run off to the playground, hoping for the best!

I love this verse and quote it so often. The focus for me is to train the child in the way HE/SHE should go...

Train up a child in the way HE should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6

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